When I was little, my dad used to let me win. Then, as I got older, he expected me to play for real i.e. no knocking over pawns because they get in your way or pirouetting your queen over the castle because it looks cool.

My dad is nothing short of a chess master and can spend days on end doing little else. Unfortunately, playing against him meant I always lost and as a result I soon lost interest. (Fact: I hate losing.) Now I find myself in a similar predicament. I love the challenge, the strategy, the thrill of taking an opponent’s piece, gosh I even like saying the rhyme “white on your right queen on her colour” every time I start a new game, but once again, my opponent is too strong.

My options as I see them are therefore: (in no particular order)

1. Stop playing chess – Mmmm…
2. Find another opponent – Tough. I don’t know many amateur chess players and I happen to like the one I have.
3. Play more often, up my game and win – Tempting…
4. Stop being a sore looser – Highly unlikely.
5. Play Colonisten van Catan instead – strategy, bartering, colonising imaginary islands, knights, challenges and prizes – this game seriously rocks except you need a minimum of three players.

Take up golfing instead?

O wait, I’ve tried that.