I turn 28 on the 10th of July. The plan was to have a kid by 28, but that plan has subsequently been drop kicked out the window and now I have no plan.

In reality the Johannesburg zoo is more organised than I am right now and I’m 99% sure that’s not a good thing.

All efforts to stop, think, evaluate and plan my own life – as opposed to those of my clients, family, friends… – have failed dismally and all I’m left with is one question:

“How the f#ck did I get here?”

The miraculous thing is that here is pretty damn good. I’m convinced that a mixture of sheer luck, naivety and chutzpa is what has brought me to this point, which is great, but imagine what I could do if I actually set my mind to it.

The flaw in the system is that I am unclear on what ‘it’ is and my ongoing existential crisis (let’s also call it ‘it’) is definitely not helping. I have tried acknowledging it, ignoring it, writing about it, bitching behind its back, crying about it, drinking on it, hiding from it and laughing at it, but it seems intent on sticking around. So now I’m trying to put up with it.

In this vain I am making a concerted effort to find, and wisely utilise, ‘me’ time. (Which is why I went to the zoo yesterday and it was great!)

If there is one thing I am sure of, it’s that if I had a mini-me around, none of this would be possible. I am therefore eternally grateful that for now my plan has failed.

As Parri sometimes says: “Toe kom die zoo verby en die band speel.”